Sisters Building Sisters

Encouragement For Men

I've been contacted by so many men saying how the website has blessed them. I did some praying, and now I'm lead to have men share their testimonies so other men can see that there is no "Stronghold" that God can't deliver you from. The things that may be impossible for men, pose know problem for God because, as Jesus said, "With God all things are possible". Read and be encouraged!!!

-LaTonia

THE GOODNESS OF GOD

GOD has given me yet another avenue to reach HIS people. I have been asked to share my testimony with brothers and sisters and proclaim the greatness of GOD in my personal walk with him. I am a twenty-eight year husband and father of four. Today I am a minister and musician in the service of Jesus Christ. I have been allowed to witness to many, and have seen the lives of people changed forever through the grace of our GOD. I have been allowed to take a wicked past and use it to lead others to a productive future in Christ. Today I will share an experience very personal to me that exposes my naked spirit.

As a young boy I realized that I was a different kind of boy than others my age. Instead of participating in sports and hunting, I chose to read books and study history and culture. I also noticed that I caused people to have a certain attraction to me. I was never the "popular" kid in school but I was always well liked. By the time I reached high school I learned that this attraction that was GOD given charisma. I wasn't trying to be the "cool" guy or the "smart" guy, I was just me. This charisma lead me to a great interest in the opposite sex that seemingly could not resist my charm. I was raised in a highly religious family. I didn't grow up in an environment where profanity, drug use, neglect, or violence was the norm. My parents ensured that I knew GOD and knew HIM and HIS ways well. I can still hear my mother's voice, "we didn't raise a player so pick one girl and treat her right." I wanted to follow those instructions verbatim, however when I learned how to use the charisma GOD had given me I decided to do another thing. I was a skinny little country boy, that loved to sing, played the piano at the church, and had perfect manners. At a glance, I seemed to be a parent's perfect choice for an innocent daughter. The truth was, I was developing the lustful spirit of a monster on the inside. I seemingly had my parents fooled, allowing them to believe I remained a virgin at the age of seventeen. That was...until late in my senior year of high school I had to face a mother, knowing that her sixteen year old daughter was pregnant with my child. I never discussed it with my mother, even until this day, but I had the hardest conversation that I have ever had to with my father. I saw the disappointment in face and I could feel the fear that he had for me. I was about leave for college when I got the news that the young lady had miscarried. I was hurt, yet relieved feeling like I had dodged a bullet.

For a while I was shaken with fear and decided that I would not let sex ruin a predestined future that I had written to the end for myself. I still had this charisma and just because I felt the need to slow down did not mean that the women stopped coming. Instead of holding on to my celibacy, I compromised, thinking if I only have safe sex that I could avoid disaster. My first year in college was like a movie to me. I had the chance to meet people from places I had only read about and the experience was life altering. I met women that were nothing like what I had been exposed to and it sparked my curiosity. During this period I felt like it was my duty and right as a man to "sow my oats" and chase skirts so to speak. I was losing my innocence and fast. The whole time this was going on I was losing focus on my purpose for attending school. I made bad judgment calls and my grades suffered for it. It ultimately lead to my departure from college. I decided that I should enlist in the United States Army to refocus and restore structure to my life. I left Louisiana in January of 2000 thinking that I would learn how to be a man. I discovered that there was a lot more temptation than I imagined where I was going. During a period of about four years I was unrepentedly promiscuous. I had more sexual partners than I care to name. I was praised by my peers, because they saw me as a person they desired to be. I can remember a time period when I had at least five different women catering to my every need. They were all aware of each other and were willing to share their time with me. As I stated above, I was raised in a totally different environment than the one I had created for myself. I knew better and I was fully aware of the consequences of my actions, yet I continued to live this way. I ruined my first marriage with infidelity and deceit. I justified this in my own mind trying to reason with her own infidelity. My peers were still praising me and I was labeled "The Man". Who wouldn't want to be the man?

A few years later I was fortunate enough to encounter a woman that was willing to put up with my nonsense and find the beauty of my true character. We entered in to a relationship and conceived our first child. Although it would seem that I would "grow up", I was still struggling with this monster on the inside of me. I was twenty five years old living the of a hip hop artist, traveling and performing in night clubs at all hours of the night. Needless to say I had not learned the principles of family value. My then girlfriend and now wife was taking it all in stride. It had gotten so bad that she was being ridiculed in public because of my behavior. However, I was still the man.

After a period I decided to move back home to Louisiana. Almost immediately my mother went to praying for my return to Christ. After a year, I began to go back to church and attempt to get back to the road of salvation. It was during this time that GOD revealed HIMSELF to me. HE also revealed HIS plan for me and my identifying HIM. One night I had a dream that I was the star of a reality show looking for a woman. (Similar to the bachelor) I could see the faces of all the women that had entered into my life with all the hope of being loved by a good man and exited broken and hurt by that same man's selfishness. There were so many that I could not recall their names. I could hear someone saying he's the man. Then I realized that this time they weren't the words of praise, but rather conviction. GOD placed me on a pedestal and showed me the lives of some of the women I had been with. Some had trust issues; some were carrying burdens of hurt that had never healed. Some had given up on men and turned to lesbianism. I could see that some were passing their pain to their daughters thus creating a generational curse. The hardest thing for me to accept was the fact that GOD told me that out of all of me that I had given not one of them saw GOD in me. I was "THE MAN"...I was the man that caused such hurt and pain. I was the man that destroyed the virtue of these women. Suddenly I didn't feel so great about it all because I knew that on the Day of Judgment that I would carry their sins on my shoulders. I knew that any sin that was caused as result of my action would be my burden to bear. I awakened shaken with conviction, tears flowing. My hands were shaking and my heart was racing. I called out to the only one I knew to save me. I asked Jesus to keep my out of HELL. I never spoke of it to my wife, but I made a conscious decision to never again be "THE MAN" that would be an instrument of the enemy. I know now that the charisma GOD gave me was to reach out to those that might not hear the WORD from someone less appealing. What the enemy desired for bad GOD meant for HIS good.

Brothers, everything in our culture teaches us that it is right to be a womanizer. Our culture suggests that a man who is willing to love one woman is weak. It suggests that our power comes with "player" status. The bible teaches us that GOD loves each of us as if we are the only object of HIS eye. When we treat our women like toys on a shelf, to be taken down, played with and thrown aside, we are in danger of HELL's fire. I thank GOD daily for the opportunity to use my gifts for HIS intentions. I cannot replace the time lost or undo the damage that has been caused, but I can move forward and serve faithfully and sincerely for as long as HE allows me.