When it hurts so bad, call on Him (God), take a deep breath, and let it out. I know you're hurting and confused, and you just don't know what to do. You're walking around wondering why your life has been turned inside out. You're trying to figure out why you have to go through all of this hurt and pain. Some things will never be explained.
I know you trusted a few to be there through the good and the bad. When all hell broke out, they were the last people to show you that they cared. That's why God said to put your trust in Him, not man.
The storm won't last forever. Trust me, I've been there before. All you have to do is call on Him (God) and ask Him to help you through it. He loves you, and unlike people, He will never leave or forsake you. You don't have to be ashamed of your past. God forgives and forgets.
Stop allowing the enemy to come into your mind and tell you all of the bad things you've done and said, and how no one cares if you are dead or alive. The devil is a liar!
God has a purpose and a plan for your life. You have to surrender your all to God, and ask Him to be the head of your life. Tell God you need Him to lead and guide you. Ask Him to remove anyone and anything that comes to hinder your walk with Him, and to give you the strength to endure whatever may come your way. Dont you dare give up! You have a purpose in life!!!